Instant fetal position until security gets the dozens of people off me. Go on talk shows wearing a Brewer hat and Braun jersey, probably get on Sportscenter, Baseball Tonight, Today Show, Leno, etc etc, saying that I'm not sure what I want to do with it. Hopefully meet a model or seven who likes money in New York or L.A. during these shows. Then auction it when Bonds retires, saying the whole time that some of the money is going to some charity (more girls).