"She and her child will suffer from your decision, and regardless of if you change your mind, the damage has been done with the woman. She may hope that you change your mind, but in the back of her head, she will always remember your initial reaction." You dont know that. He said himself he has a bit of time to think about the decision, and she hopes he will change his mind. to me, that sounds like things aren't permanently damaged. if u have other insight on what makes you an expert on that, i'd love to hear it. "You knew she had a kid before you started, or at least towards the beginning of the relationship; and it seems it is the idea of a step-child that bothers you, so why did you get involved in the first place?" How can you accuse him of knowing that in the first place. If the idea bothered him from the get-go, i would think he wouldn't have gotten involved. i dont want to speak for him, but i would think that in his mind, he thought he could handle it (and with him being a teacher, i can see why) "This doesn't make you a stand-up guy, a stand up guy would have told her your concerns, and found a way to work them out like an adult. " Isn't that exactly what he did? once he realized his situation, he came out and addressed the issue. you saying he is not an adult is ridiculous. i think his biggest mistake was getting into something he probably wasn't ready for, considering it is his first relationship. but at the same time, it is her fault as well if it doesn't work out. i'm sorry, but it's just as irresponsable for the mother to commit to this guy so soon when she knows that it is his first relationship. its only been 7/8 months and she wants to get married already. i've been dating a woman with 2 kids for almost 2 years now. he has a better arguement than i do for not wanting to get married like tomorrow... i personally think your post is more of a knee-jerk reaction rather than one you wrote and re-wrote several times...