Can I borrow someone's secret decoder ring, please? As one who reads a hell of a lot, I feel confident stating that I truly speak English fluently. I took three years of Spanish in college, worked four years while in college in a restaurant kitchen as a prep cook/corporate trainer with nearly 100% Spanish speakers, and we spoke only Spanish, and I dated a girl from La Paz for the better part of a year, and she helped me learn the language to at least a conversational level. I have no freaking clue what the hell David Ortiz is saying.