How Manly is Russell Branyan?

[InsomniacInkRoss]

I want to compile a list much like the Jack Bauer lists floating around the internet, and in the same vein as Bill Brasky and Chuck Norris talk (some NSFW language on the links)(all three names have links, only one seems to be underlined though?)

 

What I have, and they might be repeated, so correct me if I have just recycled something I have read or heard:

 

Russell Branyan sweats pure bourbon

Russell Branyan has to shave between innings

Paul Bunyan was actually Paul Branyan, Russel's great grandfather (stole this one from T B0NE 10)

Russell Branyan once laid down a bunt that went 480'

Russell Branyan doesn't hit balls, the balls run away from his bat

Russell Branyan's sweat has been banned as a performance enhancer

Russell Branyan flosses with barbed wire

 

Yes, this might become a shirt or something else, I really don't know, but I just want to get a list going. If this becomes something I use elsewhere, I would ask specific people to use what they come up with.

[Hammer]

Russell Branyan doesn't jump, the Earth dips at his command.

[mothershipconnection]

Russell Branyan doesn't wear Oakleys to block the sun, but to block the light emitted from his eyes which melts incoming pitches and impregnates all nearby women.

[RayKingsForemanGrill]

We already did this with Bill Hall.... and I don't have the energy...

[Point Beer Is Best]

Russell Branyan doesn't wear Oakleys to block the sun, but to block the light emitted from his eyes which melts incoming pitches and impregnates all nearby women.

I heard he can also do this by simply pointing his finger at one and saying, "Boo-yah."

 

[PaulRigdon]

He's so manly he beats his wife...

 

http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=82714

[Brian the Automator]

He's so manly he beats his wife...

 

http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=82714

I won't lie and say the report of that didn't make me shudder.

 

[JJHardy7]

http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=82714

 

I hope all is well with that situation/relationship.

 

I did find out through that article that Branyan has a home in the city I work in -- I knew he was in Tennessee, but I just thought it was in Nashville.

[brewcrew00]

It says his trial date was March 6th, what came of all this?

[Brian the Automator]

It says his trial date was March 6th, what came of all this?

Looks like he pleaded no contest under the terms that he go to a Families of Purpose (FOP) Program for the duration of 1-year. Hopefully he and the family get everything squared away.

 

[brewcrew00]

Thanks for the research, hope they all get this thing squared away on good terms.

[Barbs4339]

Well this thread sure took a turn, didn't it?

[Brian the Automator]

*crickets*

[jazzytrav]

Russell Branyan pleaded no contest because he assumed it meant the same thing as when he's batting...no contest.

[tchimmay]

wow, this thread really got ugly. this would be akin to my dad finding out that john wayne shaved his legs.

branyan's original nickname was "russell the hustle," but then he realized that there was no need to rush after hitting home runs, walking to first, or heading back toward the dugout.