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Bring Back the Stein

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Everything posted by Bring Back the Stein

  1. Bring Back the Stein
    The most outrageous thing about it is this strange-o said he was both a Cubs fan and a Brewers fan. Maybe in some long ago, mythical past, this was possible (I contend it is not), but to say that in this day and age, knowing what we know now, implies a kind of derangement that makes this man unfit to be around our women and children. Let the bum play the South Lot, but only if he wears a Ron Santo spit mask.
  2. Bring Back the Stein
    If this can't be done, at least just melt the Fonzie statue.
  3. Bring Back the Stein
    They could go 0-3 and I'd be thankful. We're playing games in October. The Yankees, for instance, are in Atlantic City with their mistresses.
  4. Bring Back the Stein
    I'd feel worse for Ned if I thought he felt bad. Every interview I've heard-including this morning with Harold Reynolds (I know, I know)-has him impervious to self-doubt and, thankfully, still rooting for the team as much as he roots for, say, Greg Biffle. My bet is that he sees himself as a sort of Moses figure, having taken us to the Promised Land so whatever the Brewers do to succeed from here on is partly his doing. Which is partly right. Partly.
  5. Bring Back the Stein
    Though I would rather be out getting tanked at the tavern, I got to high-five my 85-year-old, Cubs-hating, Ben Oglivie-loving grandmother. This is cool.
  6. Bring Back the Stein
    I've never been more happy to hear a rumor upended.
  7. Bring Back the Stein
    I've taken a few steps to make rooting for the Cubs palatable. First off, I got myself a nice trust fund after being adopted by a Palatine insurance adjuster whose grandfather used to live in Sauganash and so therefore have a tangential tie to Cubs and Chicago mythology, since grandfather was the last in our family to work an honest job and apparently he went to Wrigley from his shift at the train barn once and saw Andy Pafko's stool. Then, I made sure to miss the first, second, third, fifth, seventh and ninth innings of the games waiting in line, either for the bathroom or to buy Captain and diets and $11 Old Style carafes at Yak-zie's, while making breast jokes about the three DePaul undergraduate sorority sisters near to puking in the beer garden and on their way to inevitable date rape. After urinating in some condo owners' well off Damen, I finally blared the Blink 182 from my Hummer 3, struggling to wrap the seatbelt around my distended gut, as I drove westward down Irving Park, making sure to forget the names of anyone on the Cubs roster other than "Wood" and "that "Fuku" guy," and not minding that my "It's Gonna Happen!" poster blocks my rear view for my drunk drive home.
  8. Bring Back the Stein
    It's more likely than not that we're going to miss the playoffs. In which case, I will be a fan of any team that plays the Cubs. That said, the best chance to make up ground is in the next four days. After which time, the Cubs will bring an end to our shabby season, with Miller Park seats filled with the fat rears of their gasbag fans.
  9. Bring Back the Stein
    Awesome. Just awesome. Is there some kind of LOB number that we're chasing? Do they give trophies?
  10. Bring Back the Stein
    Hellzapoppin'. Errors seem to beget bloop hits. Does anyone feel like this team has the fight to come back? I don't, for the record.
  11. Bring Back the Stein
    Is Vegas involved in this collapse? Seriously, some real money could change hands. Maybe they could have taken the Gagne money and gotten a book.
  12. Bring Back the Stein
    I may drive to Cincy specifically to boo this team. To heck with this. It's inhumane to watch. The team has lost all heart. I don't see any recovery. It's radioactively bad what they've done. A whole generation of promising talent will be infected with this losing attitude, this failure ethic. Done, done, done. And Selig had the chutzpah to suggest MINNESOTA be contracted?
  13. Bring Back the Stein
    Asking people not to boo? That just seems like asking people not to criticize their government. It's my birthright to boo and if ever there was a time for booing it's now. To suggest that people who boo lack class is so categorical as to be ridiculous. These man-children are making mountains of cash to perform and are doing it in a taxpayer-financed stadium. I find it noxious to suggest I can't give these bums, who have blown it in ways that you couldn't script, a piece of my mind. I stand up for good at bats. I clap and am positive when things are done well. I always stand for the last out and I never leave my seat when the Brewers are up to bat. And yes, I boo when, for instance, Gagne gives up a lead or we get called out on a stupid baserunning play or Kendall or whomever isn't pitch hit for in a big spot. Why is that wrong? Good gravy, in the name of Gorman Thomas, let's get rid of the battered spouse syndrome that infects Brewers fans as much as any other fan-base. Who cares about a Bronx cheer when you see all the championship hardware associated with it? Edit: In hindsight, perhaps using "Gorman Thomas" and "battered spouse" in the same sentence was not the way to go.
  14. Bring Back the Stein
    Somewhere, Ned Yost is lighting a cigar, in between updating his fantasy NASCAR Truck series team.
  15. Bring Back the Stein
    Who gives up four runs in the bottom of the ninth with two outs in a must-win game BUT the Milwaukee Brewers?
  16. Bring Back the Stein
    My reticence to support Sheets and what he does to inject uncertainty in to the equation has nothing to do with his toughness. I'll concede what a manly, manly man he is. Great. I had a great uncle who took out his rotten tooth with pliers. He was tough. And later he was dead with lockjaw. So whatever. Ben, you are tough. You are also unreliable, which complicates management decisions and, selfishly, makes Jello out of the souls of Brewers fans. As for hiding the injury, Jenkins hid a broken hip. It wouldn't surprise me if we later learned that Bill Hall had died four weeks ago of Planter's wart and was being animated by Dan Caplinger and puppet strings. Bah. This team.
  17. Bring Back the Stein
    You people just don't get it, do you? Sveum is using the second letter of each middle name as a mnemonic device to represent one of the rites of the Black Mass. Or at least that's what I hope he's doing, because otherwise, it makes no freaking sense.
  18. Bring Back the Stein
    There's been some wringing of hands over ownership meddling, but I don't feel it. Attanasio hardly seems like a Steinbrenner and it looks like he gave Melvin and Yost plenty of rope with which to hang themselves. I don't believe good businessmen make good owners always, but Mark A., more than Yost, more than Melvin, maybe even more than Zdurecik, have been the principal drivers of the dramatic improvement of baseball in Milwaukee. Yost may have outlived his usefullness. He brought some of the boys up to speed (though they haven't shown it lately), now we need a championship skip. Problem is, we'll be going from the Ferrari back to the Camry next year. By the way, I hope the crappy market won't badly diminish Mark A.'s willingness to get the right pieces for another run next year.
  19. Bring Back the Stein
    Since Gammons is the official Tool of Management, maybe he has some insight into how the decision went down. Does anyone believe we'll be getting straight answers from Melvin? (By the way, I don't begrudge him not giving straight answers, on a management level. As a fan, however, I'd like to know who's doing what.)
  20. Bring Back the Stein
    The thrilling thing about this is that there will be no middle ground. The decision either succeeds or fails, and Mark A. keeps as much manure off the brand name as possible.
  21. Bring Back the Stein
    What a spot for Sveum, heading into Chicago in the hottest seat of any manager in recent times. CC on the mound should help, but the starting pitching and suspect bullpen don't seem to be much balm. I wonder what his theories are on Weeks, Counsell et al? I don't like the absence of Simmons, but it's not like his vast baseball experience influenced bad outcomes during this September collapse.
  22. Bring Back the Stein
    Too little, too late. Sveum? Oh.
  23. Bring Back the Stein
    http://www.best-horror-movies.com/images/The-Shining-Here-comes-Johnny.jpg
  24. Bring Back the Stein
    I guess in the midst of this darkness we should be grateful that the Cubs fans didn't celebrate last night in typical fashion, by throwing trash on the field or urinating in the aisles.
  25. Bring Back the Stein
    Does anyone doubt that the Brewers have a great chance to buck the statistical odds of not getting swept in doubleheader action? I foresee a Bloody Sunday.
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