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Bring Back the Stein

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Everything posted by Bring Back the Stein

  1. Bring Back the Stein
    The phone calls and texts have been fast and furious from my Cubs fan friends. And good on them. This has been a shameful beating, one whose ramifications we may not understand until late September. Kings of the Central. July's Champions. Your Chicago Cubs. Good, good, good. I wonder if these motherless swine will be taking phone calls and returning texts when the worm turns. But again, thanks for calling, and thank the Lord I'm not within fist-reach.
  2. Bring Back the Stein
    Just as no one, outside of Uecker, called Paul Molitor "The Ignitor," no one outside of FSN is calling this Cubs thing the "Freeway Rivalry," or "The I-94 Conflagration" or the "We Don't Have a Toll-Road Tussle," or whatever terrible name it is that they seem so intent on pimping. Have they lost their minds?
  3. Bring Back the Stein
    I always have a tough time remembering how to spell "embarrass." This series has gone a long way in reinforcing the correct spelling with me.
  4. Bring Back the Stein
    The last thing I want to hear from on my home team message board are chirpy posts from fans of opposing teams. It's like having a cheery proctologist. Don't want to hear from them, just don't. Not interested, not in the mood. That's why I don't subject fans of other teams to that kind of passive-aggressive abuse, unless they're in my home stadium, exposing themselves to the baseball gods as boors (and ensuring a second century of losing). At any rate, anyone check out the in-game threads at that Cards site, www.vivaelbirdos.com? I tend to casually drop f-bombs, so keeping off the, um, BAD list here is a challenge for me, but Mein Gott, they'd make Richard Pryor blush.
  5. Bring Back the Stein
    Having had season tickets, a few years ago-whatever year it was that Chad Moeller hit for the cycle, still the most improbable thing in the history of baseball, by my mind-I was literally alone in a sea of Cardinals fans in my section. I've dried up substantially since then, but this day I was full in my cups, having discovered how close I was to the Sprecher Amber. I wish I could have stayed classy, but I didn't. My heckling was PG-13, but pretty harmless - when Albert Pujols got up to bat I chanted "Over-Rated, Over-Rated," which got laughs all around. Point being the whole thing was a fun give-and-take. On the Mike Gousha Mannererd Midwesterner Meter, I was probably a 3 or 4, but the Card fans just chuckled and even threw some high 5s. That's what happens when you're secure in your identity and your team. The same must never be said of Cubs fans. If you ask fans of other teams within our division, they will return the same verdict as seems prevalent on this thread.
  6. Bring Back the Stein
    It's an entirely valid historical reference to hubris and defeatism. The Brits were hardly licked, as Dunkirk showed. And neither do I think the Brewers are licked because of a few stinker games. I think the comparison of people who joined the Bund, or whatever, when Hitler was on the march, to fans who flock to front-running teams, definitionally only when the times are good, is entirely appropriate. If it's your thinking that any talk of history is outside the lines of satire, then I just fundamentally disagree with you, since it's my belief that's the mentality that gives rise to absolutist crackpots in the first place.
  7. Bring Back the Stein
    I call them: "The Twenty Seven Millionaires of Chicago in Peonage to a Corrupt Franchise, Supported by the Disposable Income of a Fatted Fan Base that Fetishizes Misery and Losing at the Expense of the Rest of Baseball and Who Belong Exactly Where They Will Lay, In the Damp of History's Gutter." But Cubbies is easier.
  8. Bring Back the Stein
    It's going to suck watching them replay highlights from the first two games. (But not as bad is it would suck if they replayed the highlights of the last 16 years.)
  9. Bring Back the Stein
    I smell a win tonight. And my vent is, again, for all the bandwagon fans who were so certain the Brewers were never going to lose again after the Cardinals series and who are just as certain now that they'll never win again: Zip it. Go complain about Ted Thompson or how Barack Obama is a secret Muslim or whatever. These are the same front-running people who mobbed the streets with Nazi flags when Kesselring declared the British Expeditionary Forces destroyed at Dunkirk. Please. Shut. Up. You may return when the NLDS starts.
  10. Bring Back the Stein
    Salt the earth for these vermin. They like coming up here because it's comfortable. It shouldn't be comfortable to go into an opposing stadium, at least not comfortable enough to treat it like your own. I'm not talking about committing felonies here, but it's an act of arch disrespect to come into an opposing stadium and insult the home team and home crowd and therefore there should be consequences. That said, the greatest antidote would be for the Brewers to win, and that hasn't happened yet.
  11. Bring Back the Stein
    If Zambrano adjusts in the box, is it not just that he wears one? Aren't there other outlets for Cubs fans to root on History's Losers, or must this be their deposit? If benching Rickie, do we sacrifice that much defense by playing Durham instead of Counsell? Why is the number on the game so low given Zambrano's road splits? Who among us does not get joy listening to the contempt in Uecker's voice in mentions of Zambrano specifically or the Cubs in general?
  12. Bring Back the Stein
    Sorry. I get carried away.
  13. Bring Back the Stein
    Now that I'm over my Rickie Rage of the last 20 hours, with not a few scabs on my knuckles from punching the wall, I am in a better place to deal with the Screeching Marys who want to throw this team under the bus. Yes, let them shower Mr. Attanasio with their money from the bandwagon just as we welcome the disposable income of the morally-bankrupt dilettantes from the north Chicago suburbs who now infest Miller Park in a mazurka of gassy rudeness. Let the Cubs win their championships in July. We'll take ours in October.
  14. Bring Back the Stein
    Funny. Listening to the Score, both sides are wishing for a split. Failure management. I'm going to take a Ryan Braun on this one. Forget splits. Go for the kill, boys.
  15. Bring Back the Stein
    There is a padded room at the Soldiers Home that they used to use for the hysterics, or so my grandpa (who had to stay there for a time in the '50s) used to tell me. I think that would do nicely for Lou when he wants to debate the outcome of the next stupid head-first slide.
  16. Bring Back the Stein
    The presence of Cubs fans here seems to me to be provocative, but whatever. We've been dealing with them long enough to know it's futile to debate their m.o. For instance, I don't go into their message boards, other than to gather the perfume of their pain, and root on the Brewers. Not my place nor is it the place for it. Again, whatever. Their comeuppance is coming. Maybe we could famish a Cubs fan like they did in the old days. During the NLCS and the World Series, have him shackled in a cage next to Bernie's slide so he can watch, and enter his team's second century of losing while the little hamlet to the north exults in its champions. Tonight is the overture for what's to come, I promise you.
  17. Bring Back the Stein
    For all the whining here about Yost's in-game decisions and his post-game petulance, can you imagine having to digest Lou Piniella's superannuated antics on a daily basis? Yost looks positively regal and Torre-like compared to shabby"Sweet Lou," whom I would sooner picture emerging from a methadone clinic on Broadway than managing History's Losers. And Lou has quite a body of work to point to, not counting the legendary failures of this and previous clubs that will trail him to his grave. I will say though, he is the perfect front man for that wretched organization: Intemperate, blowsy and appearing in public with the cheap ratso philosophy of a cheap-vodka drunk. After entering the second century of losing, by the way, his effigies will burn with the same brilliant hotness as the shame of the North Siders. I spit on Lou Piniella.
  18. Bring Back the Stein
    The piety of the Cardinals' makes me sick. This from an organization that protects alcoholics and steroid abuse and they want to lecture us? Please.
  19. Bring Back the Stein
    If the worst thing about tonight's game is some panties getting in a bundle about a 20-something kid admiring a game-winning jonron, then I'd say we're in good shape. Tacky? Sure. But I suspect there's not a lot of blood in the frontal lobe after doing what Braun did. And as for La Russa and his Jedi mind tricks, I think the Scotch has taken the edge off.
  20. Bring Back the Stein
    According to NOAA and accuweather.com, things are looking up to play ball tonight.
  21. Bring Back the Stein
    I trust Sheets can get in a regulation game in in a hour. The problem is all the hitting we'll be doing.
  22. Bring Back the Stein
    What's bush league is passing out at an intersection in a running car, threatening the lives of innocents.
  23. Bring Back the Stein
    Over at northsidebaseball.com, they have a thread asking "When will Cubs lose 1st place?" The consensus seems to be "in Milwaukee." Edit: The sample size was three when I looked, but still....
  24. Bring Back the Stein
    The student certainly became the master tonight, and vice versa. Pitch a 6-inning guy in trouble and not locating to multiple hits? That sounds familiar. Let's just hope our guy doesn't share their guy's affinity for the brown stuff (and La Russa's going to need it tonight).
  25. Bring Back the Stein
    Listening to the sense of doom in the Cubs' announcers voice, down 9-2, is like hearing a heavenly choir. Yes, I care what they do. I want to drink their tears.
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