So, here's what happened, folks: Ryan Braun, feeling awful proud after beating the system with his successful appeal of a positive test for PEDs last winter, walked into a shady PED clinic in Florida, thinking, "I'm invincible, I can get away with anything." He goes up to the front counter and says, "Hi, my name is Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers, initials 'RB' for short, if you like. I'll take 20-30 thousand dollars worth of PEDs." The guy says, "Well, that seems exorbitant. Ryan Braun, you say? Let me log that in our register." He reaches into a dark corner of the desk beneath, uncrumples a piece of notebook paper, and documents the official transaction, scribbling 'RB: 20-30k'. Braun says, "Yeah, I need PEDs for the rest of my career, right now. I buy in bulk, you know." The guy shambles into the back room and returns with 20-30 thousand dollars worth of PEDs. He goes, "Would you like a bag for this?" Braun says, "No, I'll just back the truck up to the front door." As the guy loads the final crate, Braun shouts, "Done yet?" The guy, sweating profusely, gasps and mutters, "Yeah. Last one." Braun says "Thanks, pay you later!" and squeals off, cackling with glee. Seems plausible enough.