It is impossible to get away from without taking drastic measures. Doesn't matter what local news you watch, it is constantly the subject. National news media, lol Forget it, constant doom and gloom, blaming, dividing, just looking for reasons to bring us all down. Social media is unbearable and a complete embarrassment. I am currently taking a few days away from it all. No news, no social media, just sitcoms, dvds, and movies if I am engaging in a screen... No wonder we have so much mental illness, and the events of the past few months is only going to increase it. As a society, we have become weak and ineffective with handling our own feelings and thoughts. The wussification of America continues, and there is no end in sight. As someone who attempted suicide eight years ago....this has been a rough couple of months. Going from having outlets, knowing what works for me to keep my mind in order, knowing what keeps me happy to being screamed at that if I go outside I'm going to kill everyone's grandparents. Being told that 'everything is worth it if we save one life!' all while feeling like I was slipping lower and lower than even where I was a decade ago always made it ring false to me. I've empathized with those wellness studies more than most I suspect because, well, that's me. Being able to go out last weekend, sit at a bar, have a beer, whine about the fact that there's no baseball, and have people happy to see me may have very well saved my life. This week, people I've admitted that to have rolled their eyes and called me selfish. Well, I mean I guess. I don't want to be dead, despite what I sometimes tell myself in bad moments. Is it selfish to want to be alive? I never liked the virtual or phone aspect of talking to people. I don't feel like they're paying attention. It's stupid. I'm sure they are. But it doesn't matter because my mind convinces me they aren't. Which ends up making me feel even more insignificant and worthless and I end up ending said sessions feeling worse than when I began. But six weeks of nothing to do but check social media has taken more of a mental toll on me than most anything else I can think of. And I've noticed it's all partisan. It's all yelling and screaming. And it's all outdated with no care. Stopping looking at it has done more for my mental health than almost anything. And I highly suggest going that route. Twitter is filled with people who immediately seem any form of positivity as inherently stupid. Because intelligence can only be rated based on how snide you can be in 140 characters. It's...well it's bad. I don't know what I really wanted to say. But avoiding twitter helped me a lot for a long while. It's all a performance, though. There's a NPR article circulating now about how antibody results indicate the virus is less deadly than thought. Six weeks ago, when papers in CA and MA said the same thing and it was cited by people on the right it instantly became an echo chamber of 'results are inaccurate! No test is reliable!' Now, it's the same just with the aisles flipped. I swear the worst thing to have right now is a memory that lasts more than fifteen minutes. There's no thought, there's no real discussion on those platforms. Everything is instantly 'us vs them' and 'what about X!' I'm not sure what point I wanted to make but I felt like I had to write something. Two weeks ago I wasn't positive I'd make it to see baseball played again. Now, well I'm still not sure I'll ever see baseball played against but not for reasons involving me not being here. Tuning out Social Media helped a great deal. And I was barely on it anyway. Never read the comments. Everything you said was very personal and very real and I hope everyone appreciates your honesty. But the bolded part is so important and I hope more people realize this. There is no rational thought or logical consistency for many people over this. My friends and I have a group chat that has been going on for 4 or 5 years now. They have been very vocally pro-lockdown since the beginning. One works in the medical field and another is in local government and very much involved in handling the COVID response. The day after the supreme court struck down the Safe at Home order the chat turned into a group temper tantrum about how stupid Republicans are and they're a bunch of science deniers and they don't care if people die. I eventually put it on silent as there was no coherent or intelligent thought involved just unhinged anger. In the weeks since, what have they been doing? One decided to take a vacation the weekend after the order was lifted and the rest have gone back to regularly going to bars and restaurants. One night a few of them went out together and shared a picture of themselves together in the chat. Not one of them wearing a mask. So basically none of them really cared about the "science" or the health of others, it was just about wanting their side to win.