Joke Thread!

[iHARTbrewCREW]

What has two legs and bleeds a lot???

 

Half a cat.

[cnycerveceros]

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few sips he hears this tiny, high pitched voice, "Nice shirt." Thinking it was just his imagination, he orders another drink. Again, the voice, "Nice tie." Starting to worry, he order's and downs a third drink to stop the voices. But, there it is again, "Nice shoes." Concerned for his sanity, he asks the bartender, "Am I crazy, I think I'm hearing voices?" The bartender replies, "It's the peanuts, their complimentary."

[Hammer]

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

 

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokie Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in... And then the trouble started.

[brucrustu]

What do you call four spainish speaking guys in a boat with a hole in it?

 

 

 

cuatro cinco!

 

 

 

Ha!

[DSFastball55]

Q: What has five arms and sucks?

A: Def Leppard

[Crazyk1294]

 

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

For drizzle.

 

A baby seal walks into a club (get it?).

 

All other jokes I know are too inappropriate for anyone to hear let alone this board.

[splitterpfj]

Have you heard the one about your feet?

 

You have two.

 

 

A Polish-American, an Israeli-American, a Mexican-American, and the Pope walk into a bar....the bartender looks up and says "What is this...some kind of joke?"