CHAPEL HILL, NC In a wild turn of events, right-center fielder BuckyTuba was offered a stunning contract after an rigorous off-season training plan. Shadows of doubt were cast at the end of last season due to his physical conditioning. "I'm not sure if he would have been able to last a entire season at the weight he was at," one scout said, "however, his training has cut his shape into something more desirable, and if he wasn't given a contract by our organization... I'm sure he would have been given a deal. We had to make a move." It has been said that he had been getting two to three contract offers a week, but decided he wanted to play for a contender. BuckyTuba spent all last season as an Operator at Shearon Harris Nuclear Plant. He did a magnificent job in his first year there, and some said he was the next in line to move quickly up the chain to become a Manager at the big show, the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. BuckyTuba chose to put off those chances to be a manager for a couple years so he could play a for a championship with a promising team. What makes this deal more interesting is the fact that the team will be without their starting centerfielder for the first two months due to a suspension. This will allow BuckyTuba to get a chance to play everyday for the first two months of his contract, and possibly find a way to carve out a starting role with a strong performance. (if anyone needs an explanation of the inside jokes or the true story, ask me.... it all makes sense, I promise)