@MilwaukeeBeers
Man, I'll add my thoughts to this. I'm 4 behind Cheez (we're done. 2 girls is PLENTY) and my wife and I have been married for 22 years.
It's freaking tough. I went to college thinking I'd be a choir director for 25 or so years (about now) and then go into church music full time. Well.....1 year of choir directing, then 18 years of church music, and now, I'm in year 6 of running my music studio. Oh and along the way, I had 1 church position cut because of money, 1 where they told me that if I was still there come June 1st, my position would be part time. So I know ALLLLLL about that feeling of failing my spouse and my children. My girls are 17 and 14. The most important part is they know I love them and I'd do anything for them. Heck, I even had to do Door Dash while I was getting my studio off the ground because we needed money. Now, we're not rolling in money, but we've been blessed and while yes, I still struggle with those feelings of not being or doing "enough", I've learned that if your bills are paid and you've got food on the table, you're doing alright. Part of that struggle of course is social media and seeing what everyone else has. Part of it for me was growing up without a whole lot of money, because my dad was a pastor, and having the idea that I needed to give my family better. I have, financially and in other ways as well.
All that to say, you're enough. You're doing enough for your family. Just make sure to be talking to your wife about your feelings. One of the things that really aggravated my wife (and still does at times) is when I kept (keep) my feelings inside and don't talk to her about it. You're a team and both of you need to be on the same page. You've got this.