Julian Tavarez on signing with the Nationals

[MessiahRp]

Haven't seen it posted here but this is hilarious (emphasis mine):

 

Attractive Offer, After All

By Chico Harlan

Washington Post Staff Writer

Monday, March 16, 2009; Page E04

 

The longer Julián Tavárez thought about the Nationals, they better they looked. The team first contacted Tavárez in November, inviting him to spring training on a non-guaranteed minor league contract. Tavárez said no.

He kept waiting. He played earlier this month for the Dominican WBC team, throwing 1 1/3 innings. But with spring training just around the corner, Tavárez was still very much unemployed. The Nationals called again, offering the same deal.

"Why did I sign with the Nationals?" Tavárez said on Sunday. "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."

Tavárez joined his new team on Sunday, and is scheduled to pitch for the first time in an intrasquad game on Tuesday. While Tavárez awaits completion of his work visa -- something that should require only a few more days -- he is unable to compete in games.

[vannzee]

Yeah, everyone knows Tavarez is a head case.

[Teatoe993]

At least he has the guts to tell the truth. He could have sugarcoated it like Dunn did when he signed. Does anyone really think he is thrilled to be a National? I'll take blatant honesty over sugarcoating and walking around the truth any day.

[Gobias Industries]

Considering he's Julian Tavarez, this is pretty ballsy. He's obviously not in a position to be too picky about what team he goes to.

[hawing]

I was expecting some type of "I'm devastated" comment...but this definitely exceeds my expectations.

Maybe it was 4 in the morning when he made the comment.

[logan82]

What if the 600-pounder cuts him before the end of spring training? That would be priceless.

[pretendastronaut]

Unfortunately for Tavarez, I don't have much faith that he could score any other type of Jennifer Lopez.

[Ennder]

Unfortunately for Tavarez, I don't have much faith that he could score any other type of Jennifer Lopez.

I doubt he could get J-Lo out as a pitcher at this point either.

[SeriesFinale]

So what were the Brewers I wonder?

[Nottso]

What if the 600-pounder cuts him before the end of spring training? That would be priceless.

And when he is cut, I hope there's a quote along the lines of... "Yeah, well he just couldn't get it up. His fastball, he just can't get it up there anymore."

[CheezWizHed]

So what were the Brewers I wonder?

WAY out of his league!

[fondybrewfan]

I wonder if this is what Jeffrey Hammonds felt?

[cwolf2012]

He's most likely to get just a little dry-humping, but ultimately will not get to go any further.

 

Even the Nationals are better off without contracting this kind of disease.

 

MODS: This is in jest, hopefully it's not too vulgar. Sorry if it is.