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Zombie Invasion.. which bat do I use? (Updated: 2008 zombie defense retrospective)


sgtcluels

So, over lunch today, a few co-workers and I got into some weird conversation about a Zombie invasion and how we would defend ourselves.

 

I do not have a gun, nor a full sized axe, or any kind of sword, all I have are kitchen knives (They would leave me vulnerable to the reach of a zombie and their undead strength) and 2 Baseball bats. But these bats are signed. So.. if their was a Zombie invasion, which of my two bats would be the best Option?

 

Bat 1) Slatebat Factory (Looks like Dillons bat) signed by Corey Hart. (I won this for the Trivia question 2 years ago)

Bat 2) Lousville Slugger signed by Bill Hall.

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I bought a nail gun specifically for hand to hand combat with zombies.

i own a few, the nail tumbles within about 6" of leaving the gun if fired into the air, so you are out of luck there. Secondly are you going to carry a air tank with you? And finally having shot my self twice with a 3-1/4" clipped nail twice, there just isnt enough damage to take down a zombie. When it comes to weapons, who cares who the bat is signed for, this is your life you are talking about. Me on the other hand have 3 swords(got them when i was young and thought they were cool) so i have that going for me.

 

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i own a few, the nail tumbles within about 6" of leaving the gun if fired into the air, so you are out of luck there.

 

You press it against their forehead. Boom! Zombie Over.

 

Secondly are you going to carry a air tank with you

 

Nope. I bought a power nailer, that uses a gas cylinder ignited by a battery. 4000 nails per recharge

 

And finally having shot my self twice with a 3-1/4" clipped nail twice, there just isnt enough damage to take down a zombie.

 

With all due respect, you are probably not as skilled as I am with using a nail gun to fend off the undead.

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i own a few, the nail tumbles within about 6" of leaving the gun if fired into the air, so you are out of luck there.

 

You press it against their forehead. Boom! Zombie Over.

 

Secondly are you going to carry a air tank with you

 

Nope. I bought a power nailer, that uses a gas cylinder ignited by a battery. 4000 nails per recharge

 

And finally having shot my self twice with a 3-1/4" clipped nail twice, there just isnt enough damage to take down a zombie.

 

With all due respect, you are probably not as skilled as I am with using a nail gun to fend off the undead.

If it is a Paslode butane(sp) nail gun then you will be long dead before that things fires properly, especially when you have to push the plunger down the get it going the press it down again to fire. Having been a carpenter for 8 years they were pretty much worthless unless you were doing to some work in areas that you couldnt get a hose to. Is it a trim gun or framing? Plus the nail wouldnt do that much damagehttp://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/tongue.gif Now a nice 24 oz framing hammer with a straight claw, that will inflict some damage.http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/devil.gif

 

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I think you should hold on to the autographed bats (which would increase in value if either player died of zombism) and buy an aluminum bat precisely for the oxymoronic rise of the living dead.

 

You can generate faster bat-speed with aluminum, plus are much more difficult to break. That increased swing-speed may be too dangerous for MLB use, but should the need arise to prevent your brain from being consumed by the undead....take any advantage you can get. As an added bonus, the pinging noise of the metallic bat will inspire confidence as you fend off you wave upon wave of zombies.

 

 

Go aluminum; save the lumber for the vampires.

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That's a good suggestion bjkrautk. But I don't currently own a aluminum bat. I only have 2 wood bats.

 

As of now, Hart bat will probably hit more Zombies but not inflict as much damage. Hall bat would do more damage, but I may be prone to missing zombies. But when I hit them, I'll crush them.

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Ha and That...

 

I guess the question is, since Zombies and Vampires pray on the living nothing would happen? Now since Vampires can get stronger by biting other vampires, aka.. bite Dracula you inherit all his powers, if a Zombie bit another Zombie does the same undead rules apply?

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Since zombies do not have brains I do not think they would want to bite another zombie.

 

What would one zombie gain from biting another zombie?

 

To answer the question, the Corey Hart bat, he kills zombies at night.

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What would happen if a vampire bit a zombie, or vice versa?

 

Hmmm...

 

Zombies are real, vampires are fictional, so nothing.

 

IF vampires were real... they need blood of the non-radioactive nature for sustenance, so if they drained a zombie they would get radioactive poisoning and die. Then they would turn into a zombie and feast on brains.

 

If a zombie bit a vampire they would simply consume their brains and move on to the next non-nailgun-wielding victim.

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Are we talking about zombies created by radiation or zombies created because of a curse? Or are the zombies created from some sort of experimental government virus?

Fan is short for fanatic.

I blame Wang.

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I'd go with the Corey Hart bat myself. When it comes to zombies, you need to make solid contact.

 

I was watching Shaun of the Dead the other day and I was thinking this exact same question. I was debating using my 6-iron, since it's my least favorite club, and I don't have a bat in the house. I'm thinking that a golf club would be totally inefficient in destroying the undead. I would definitely go with an aluminum bat as weapon of choice.

 

By the way, this is the most hilarious thing I think I've ever read.

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Are we talking about zombies created by radiation or zombies created because of a curse?

 

Zombies are created from hastily and illegally disposed nuclear waste. It's just a matter of time before our own BuckyTuba is feeding on the brains of the good people of North Carolina. I would assume that the North Carolinian zombies will migrate north to feed on the more supple Ivy league brains.

 

Believing in curses is silly.

 

Or are the zombies created from some sort of experimental government virus?

 

I think in the future this may be possible zombie genesis point, however in the here and now -- nuclear waste.

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We may need some better definition of which kind of zombies we are fighting.

 

So we'll just go with FTJ nuclear waste zombies, they are slow zombies but with unholy undead zombie strength. These are not the virus infected fast zombies as seen in recent movies. These zombies are lumbering around with the unquenchable lust for human brains. Infection is only spread by a non-fatal bite by said zombie. Get a finger chewed off by zombie, you are boned!

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