Dating Question

[TwinsBrewersWorldSeries]

Hey Guys,

 

Most of you know that I'm almost engaged (fingers crossed), so hopefully my dating life will be pretty "simple" from here on out.... though I doubt anyone has ever called marriage "simple". However, I'm trying to help out my best buddy and really can't make sense of this girl he's seeing.

 

They went to school together (HS) and worked together back around HS Senior Year/Frosh Year of College. Fast forward about six years, and they just randomly ran into each other about six weeks ago and have been hanging out 2-3 times a week since....

 

I'd say she's a pretty confident girl, but definitely somewhat shy with his (our) friends group. I know she will frequently spend the night 1-2 times a week ( i know since I'm my buddy's roommate), yet she seems distant at times and doesn't always accept his invitations to hang with the group or go out together.

 

Is this girl just busy/independent, or just plain confusing (spending 1 & 1 time, spending the night etc) but then ( not always accepting plans/being sometimes bad at returning phone calls)?

[viking188]

Well, if you reverse the genders, ie; your roomie was the girl, and she met a guy that treated her this way.....it would seem the answer becomes rather obvious.

[whizkid]

Guess I don't see that it's obvious. After only 6 weeks she can't decline to hang with your group to hang with hers? Does your buddy always accept invitations to hang with her group at the expense of hanging with yours? Some people take time to warm up to new people, some are by nature distant in general, some vary back and forth. Vive le difference. Six weeks doesn't seem like a full time committment is necessarily in order yet.

[Chio151]

Totally normal.

 

Sometimes getting totally integrated into a new group of friends is what destroys a relationship. Allow it to happen naturally.

[viking188]

Guess I don't see that it's obvious.

___________________________________________________

 

Yes you dohttp://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/wink.gif

"Six weeks doesn't seem like a full time committment is necessarily in order yet. "

[JimH5]

Men spend way too much time trying to figure out what's going on in women's heads.

 

He should ask her out, and if she wants to go, she will. If she declines, and seems aloof, he should ask again later. Repeat that a couple more times, and if she still declines, then she doesn't want to.

[Brian the Automator]

Like 67% of women, she's clearly insane.

[Barbs4339]

67% seems a bit on the low end.

[BrewCrewForever]

Seems normal to me. My fiancee Ive been with for like 4 years she sometimes still doesn't always hang out with me and my friend group. I think sometimes girls just feel somewhat weird hanging out with there mans guy friends. I dunno, just my opinion.

[DatHoser]

Quote:

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67% seems a bit on the low end.

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Note, Brian said clearly insane. The rest are harder to tell.http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/wink.gif

 

Back on target: it doesn't seem too unusual. As mentioned above, if she constantly refuses to go out, then it's over.

[rluzinski]

I think my wife likes my friends more than I do.

[RightFieldCoder]

I'm a very shy person. It's hard for me to go out with my friends, let alone with friends of someone I just started seeing 6 weeks ago. Your roommate should tell her that it would mean a lot to him if she hung out with his friends more. And explain that it's ok if they don't go out together all the time. Also, is she not going out because she has other things to do (she's busy and there isn't much to stop that) or does she just rather sit at home?

[Jopal78]

http://www.petitionspot.com/uploads/9634-jesus-thread-sucks.gif

 

 

 

They've been dating SIX weeks, what is this guy expecting from someone he has dated for SIX weeks?!?!?

[dadofandrew]

To restate Jopal, if she's spending the night at <6 weeks, he should be giddy and let it be.

[TooLiveBrew]

Sometimes girls just don't like hanging out with big(ish) groups of guys when they're the only girl, fwiw.

[Principessa21]

It seems normal. Why is your roommate bugging out about this? He should just talk to her. Communication is key afterall.

 

For the girl: Guys have become so sensitive, haven't they?

[Brian the Automator]

[ Guys have become so sensitive, haven't they? ]

 

That really hurts my feelings.

[patrickgpe]

i agree with the others, it takes time to get used to a new group of people that are friends and comfortable with each other. Id give it time Maybe ask her to hang out with smaller groups of friends before throwing her into a larger group.

[TooLiveBrew]

Quote:

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That really hurts my feelings.

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My sense of humor is sensitive - to funny stuff like this

 

http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/roll.gif

[Brian the Automator]

[ My sense of humor is sensitive - to funny stuff like this ]

 

Stop making fun of me.

[TooLiveBrew]

Brian, you can have a little cry if you want -- it's the 1990s, men can be sensitive!

[Brian the Automator]

[ Brian, you can have a little cry if you want -- it's the 1990s, men can be sensitive! ]

 

Strong men also cry. Strong men also cry.

[hauser42]

Getting to know a new group is tough. Give it sometime.

 

One of my best friends as been dating a girl since Sept of last year and very few of us have met her. I accidently ran into them at store in our home town. She has still only met a few of us and we all went to high school and college together. He is scared of us telling all the crap he did in younger days.

[brettac1]

I'd guess that she's probably pretty mature, so hanging out with the boys isn't something that interests her a lot.

 

But, you know, everybody is a different person.

 

Maybe your buddy just says that he invited her over to hang out, when he really didn't. Maybe he's a different dude when he's with the lady, maybe he doesn't want her to be around his friends and see that he acts differently with her. Maybe she doesn't want to be serious and just enjoys spending the night a couple times a week.

 

Like most situations involving men and women, there are lots of maybes.

[PKBadger]

Quote:

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Strong men also cry. Strong men also cry.

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"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

 

-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.