What's bugging you? ~ 2022 ~

[igor67]

My wife used to do daycare and it used to be the case that the maximum infant to teacher ratio was 4:1. So if you ignored any overhead, admin, or miscellaneous costs you would need to be paying 1/4 of your salary to the daycare for the teacher to be as well paid as you are. The ratio gets better as the child gets older, but I don't know that the math ever really works out well for anyone. Even 15 years ago it seemed like you needed an upper middle class salary to make it work, which is why for us my wife making very little actually made sense. It was the best of bad options at the time.

[nodakfan17]

I think almost everyone I know has decided to have fewer or no children because of the constraints associated with raising kids in the current world.

Same. I always thought I’d have 2-3 kids, but I have just 1 (by choice). My close friends all have 0, 1 or 2 kids. For us, it’s not so much the cost, but the financial crises that left us scarred. My wife and I graduated in 2008. We both have masters degrees, but the $50K/year jobs we thought we’d land after college never materialized and we both earned $16-$18/hour for a few years while we gained some career traction. We’ve paid our dues, we built good resumes, and today we live a happy and comfortable existence - but we don’t want to overextend ourselves.

[TURBO]

...and those who have no means to keep having children, keep having more children.

 

It's nice that those who know children will be a hardship, don't keep pumping them out.

 

It would be even nicer if those that can't afford it would do the same.

[homer]

Oh yeah, we burned hundreds of dollars on daycare deposits that we never enrolled at. We were paying over $3000/month for infant care while we were waiting for a less expensive option to open up.

 

I think almost everyone I know has decided to have fewer or no children because of the constraints associated with raising kids in the current world.

 

That was roughly the topic of a recent Freakonomics podcast.

[stoutdude04]

...and those who have no means to keep having children, keep having more children.

 

It's nice that those who know children will be a hardship, don't keep pumping them out.

 

It would be even nicer if those that can't afford it would do the same.

 

This is my thinking as well. My sister has a daughter and her boyfriend has 2 kids. They live pretty tight and she has talked about them trying to have a kid together. I had to stay out of the conversation because I am certain I would have said something not nice.

[stoutdude04]

No kids here. But as friends have talked about this and I hear those numbers and the costs, one thing that has popped in my head is where is all that money going? Because on the other hand you hear how underpaid the workers/teachers/etc are at those daycare type places. You do the math on number of kids X cost per months and it's a heck of a number Are building costs, insurance just huge for them? Is some conglomerate owner hoarding the money like in most businesses?

 

We concluded that the $3,000/month number that we were paying was the correct cost for running a high quality infant/toddler daycare center with properly paid employees, a reasonable teacher:student ratio, great curriculum, etc.

 

We're now paying in the low-$2000s but the new daycare constantly has "help wanted" signs outside, there are more kids per teacher, and the place is just generally more chaotic than the more expensive daycare. I am appreciative that the industry is highly-regulated because it keeps me from worrying too much.

 

We got a little taste of the numbers ourselves when we initially considered a nanny share and had to draft a contract and advertise the position. Basically, watching kids is labor intensive and labor is expensive. Hence why you don't see daycares popping up all over the place right now.

 

We pay 500$ a week for 2 kids for 2 days a week. It's the best daycare in the area, but it is still chaotic, but the kids seem to be learning and growing a lot, so I can't complain.

[owbc]

Having a baby triggered me to move from academia to the private sector which got me both better pay and the work/life balance that I needed to raise a kid. Plus permanent work-from-home. What a dream that is for parents.

[CheezWizHed]

My wife and I had made the life-choice before we were married that she would be a stay-at-home mom. Our entire budget was planned off of one salary so we could do that. That obviously limits us in many areas of life (house, were we live, vacations, cars), but it has been better overall for my family. And a friend of mine is a stay-at-home dad, which works for them (so no one claims me to be a 1960's era chauvinist).

 

With all the issues of daycare during COVID, I've wondered if we might see people going back to that lifestyle.

[homer]

My wife and I had made the life-choice before we were married that she would be a stay-at-home mom. Our entire budget was planned off of one salary so we could do that. That obviously limits us in many areas of life (house, were we live, vacations, cars), but it has been better overall for my family. And a friend of mine is a stay-at-home dad, which works for them (so no one claims me to be a 1960's era chauvinist).

 

With all the issues of daycare during COVID, I've wondered if we might see people going back to that lifestyle.

 

I've heard a lot of stories of people actually saving money by going back to one parent at home. Less money on transit, less money on daycare/babysitting, less money on lunches, etc. etc.

[jerichoholicninja]

When our neighbors moved in 5 years ago the wife was a stay at home mom. About a year after moving she got a job and told us all the money she's making is going to child care now but she had to get out of the house. I've been a stay at home parent for going on 6 years and I'm in the same boat. I need to get out of the house so I've been looking for a job for about the last 6 months. Luckily we have grandparents that can take care of the kids most of the time otherwise whatever money I'd be making from that would go to childcare. Between my wife's friends and mine that have kids most of them have a parent either stay home full time or work only part time. So, yes, I think that arrangement very much going to or already has made a comeback.

[Samurai Bucky]

My wife and I had made the life-choice before we were married that she would be a stay-at-home mom. Our entire budget was planned off of one salary so we could do that. That obviously limits us in many areas of life (house, were we live, vacations, cars), but it has been better overall for my family. And a friend of mine is a stay-at-home dad, which works for them (so no one claims me to be a 1960's era chauvinist).

 

With all the issues of daycare during COVID, I've wondered if we might see people going back to that lifestyle.

Mrs. Samurai and I are coming out of the other end of this -- our youngest of four is graduating high school this year (Milwaukee Suburb) and heading off to college. We made the decision, like you Cheez, that my wife would stay at home. Just before we got pregnant with our youngest, she went back to college to finish up her degree. She started entering the workforce on a part time basis a few years later. Now, she has a full time job and I do as well.

 

Some challenges I see today vs. that of 25 years ago (our oldest is 25) are the "chauvinist" suggestions if a woman is going stay at home and care for her children. I look at my daughters and when they get a degree (one is in pharmacy), will she be willing to "give that up" to stay at home? I don't know. In my opinion, staying at home and caring for your children should not be discouraged, but lauded.

 

That said, it is imperative that there is a good support system available. For us, our family was very involved, but also our church. Mrs. Samurai would often go to "Play Group" time with other moms and their children. It didn't only give the kids to play with other kids, but it also gave the moms a chance to talk with other adults. There were six mothers and once every six weeks each mom would get to drop their child / children off and then have a few hours to herself. She could go to the spa, go "shopping," or maybe go home and take a nap. Fortunately, we feel blessed in that things have worked out well. It certainly saved us money, and it also helped that we had waited a few years before having kids so our nest egg could get built up a little.

[CheezWizHed]

Here I dropped the "subtle" hint to my wife that she get a job now that all the kids were in school - mainly so she would qualify for SS benefits when we retire. That hint didn't go so well. . But then COVID hit and the kids were all home or dealing with symptoms/testing/quarantines, etc.. and it was Godsend to have her home during that time.

[hawing]

I think a piece of one of my dental fillings just came loose. Naturally this would be on a Friday night.

It's not painful (so far, knock on wood), but it's interfering with my bite and I wonder if I will have to eat soft food all weekend to not make matters worse.

[Samurai Bucky]

I think a piece of one of my dental fillings just came loose. Naturally this would be on a Friday night.

It's not painful (so far, knock on wood), but it's interfering with my bite and I wonder if I will have to eat soft food all weekend to not make matters worse.

Hey... celebrate St. Patrick's Day early. Beer is food.

[NBBrewFan]

CREDIT CARDS!!!!!  Specifically fixed amount debit cards.

So one of the kids gets us a VISA debit card for Christmas.  Great.  Much appreciated. I go to use it today, pull if out of the drawer, remove the sticker on how to "register" it to get to the 16 digit number.  Go online, register and find $35 in charges on the card already.  Go through 30 minutes of sitting on the phone to resolve.  Not once, but 3 times I need to read out the last 8 numbers from a separate barcode on the back of the card.  They have what appears to be a 3000 digit number for the barcode or something like that because each number is like speck of dust.  Then answer a billion questions about my activity related to the charges when it's clear that somebody has cracked their card algorithm.  I didn't even know what the number was for the card because it was under the damn sticker on the front.  Now I need to wait for the fraud investigation before I can get a new card as the first representative said, "the card has been compromised".  Ya THINK!!!????!!! Then they have on the sticker that the last 4 digits of the card are your pin.  Why don't they just make every pin 1234.  If someone knows the 16 digit card number they know the PIN!!!!!! Why not use the last 4 numbers of the barcode on the back which is unique for each card?  Why?  ISN'T that more secure?  And they don't have a number to call for lost/stolen or even an option when you get into their automated phone system until you have already gone through 5 minutes of crap, including multiple reminders that you can register online or find the latest balance online, BUT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THEFT/LOST ONLINE.  Give me the direct number for FRAUD!!!!!  Seriously, banks and financial institutions have this crap happening 24/7, but they inconvenience the customer to save $0.02 on every $100 in profit. AUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

 

I feel better now.

[jerichoholicninja]

This is my 15th year coaching high school baseball and the last 5 years or so I've noticed a horrible trend that's getting worse of kids missing practices and games. Not no-showing but telling us ahead of time that they have to work or have some other non-school related thing to do instead. We just had a kid give us a whole list of days he would gone because of AAU basketball. So many that there's really not much of a point of him even being on the baseball team.

When I first started coaching you could probably count the number of misses for the whole team all season on one hand. Last year we had a kid who worked after school 3 days every week and every Saturday and a few others that would have to leave early on certain days. There were some practices where we only had half the team still there by the time we were done.

[stoutdude04]

19 minutes ago, jerichoholicninja said:

This is my 15th year coaching high school baseball and the last 5 years or so I've noticed a horrible trend that's getting worse of kids missing practices and games. Not no-showing but telling us ahead of time that they have to work or have some other non-school related thing to do instead. We just had a kid give us a whole list of days he would gone because of AAU basketball. So many that there's really not much of a point of him even being on the baseball team.

When I first started coaching you could probably count the number of misses for the whole team all season on one hand. Last year we had a kid who worked after school 3 days every week and every Saturday and a few others that would have to leave early on certain days. There were some practices where we only had half the team still there by the time we were done.

This is so true and super frustrating.  Im in my 13th year of coaching and my 5th as a head varsity coach.  I can't really do anything about it because our numbers are so low that we just have to deal with it.  I get major life things happen...funerals, weddings, etc, but yea, work and other off season sports are a drag.

[jerichoholicninja]

10 minutes ago, stoutdude04 said:

This is so true and super frustrating.  Im in my 13th year of coaching and my 5th as a head varsity coach.  I can't really do anything about it because our numbers are so low that we just have to deal with it.  I get major life things happen...funerals, weddings, etc, but yea, work and other off season sports are a drag.

We have low numbers too so, you're right, there's really nothing you can do about it. We talked about the AAU kid after practice last night. All the other coaches wanted to tell him he can be on the baseball team and make it when he can but there's no guarantee he's going to play. Which I countered with by saying then he's going to quit baseball. Totally discounting the fact that he should be one of our best pitchers and one of our better hitters we just need bodies. We've got 10 juniors and seniors and two of those are guys that are going to be missing things. We have underclassmen that definitely could play on varsity but if we take any of them off of JV then we don't have enough for a JV team.

[stoutdude04]

9 minutes ago, jerichoholicninja said:

We have low numbers too so, you're right, there's really nothing you can do about it. We talked about the AAU kid after practice last night. All the other coaches wanted to tell him he can be on the baseball team and make it when he can but there's no guarantee he's going to play. Which I countered with by saying then he's going to quit baseball. Totally discounting the fact that he should be one of our best pitchers and one of our better hitters we just need bodies. We've got 10 juniors and seniors and two of those are guys that are going to be missing things. We have underclassmen that definitely could play on varsity but if we take any of them off of JV then we don't have enough for a JV team.

I totally understand what you're going through - covid didn't do us any favors either.

[Jimbo]

On 2/3/2022 at 8:49 PM, Jimbo said:

I'm seven months into an engineering contract. My manager (300 miles away) and I click real well, although I wished we had more interaction. The last few months she has been filling in on a second role in an interim basis will doing her current job. Today, it was announced she is moving into the second role permanently, opening up her previous role. Not sure what the future holds, who my new boss will be. Even to go so far to say I am no longer obligated to this contract.

Update: The CEO made the decision not to back fill the position.  So now I am reassigned to the Supply Chain Manager.  We had a dotted-line relationship before, but now he is my boss.  Nice enough guy and he sits three cubicles from me.  He has no idea what I do or how to do it.  I'm guessing he's taking one for the team.  Now, I was informed that the position will be made permanent.  However, it will be posted and will accept applications.  But I was invited to apply for it.  Not sure what to make of the situation.  The interview for the job I have been doing for nine months is Wednesday afternoon.

[zurch1818]

5 hours ago, Jimbo said:

Update: Now, I was informed that the position will be made permanent.  However, it will be posted and will accept applications.  But I was invited to apply for it.  Not sure what to make of the situation.  The interview for the job I have been doing for nine months is Wednesday afternoon.

That's really weird. Why the heck do you need to interview for a job you currently hold with the same company? You are a known commodity and have effectively been interviewing the duration of your time working for that company. It just seems like a waste of time for you to go through the motions of an interview.

[jerichoholicninja]

Being sick.

Had COVID in January. Was really sick for two days and then took a couple days to fully recover. Had the flu in February. Was the sickest I've been in years for about 36 hours and another few days for recovery. Right now I'm going on a week with an annoying cold. Nothing horrible really, just constant sinus pain.

[stoutdude04]

Caught a high stick last night.

10 stitches later and I cant eat solids for about a week.

[wallus]

11 minutes ago, stoutdude04 said:

Caught a high stick last night.

10 stitches later and I cant eat solids for about a week.

Sounds like a Busch Lite diet for ya

[Samurai Bucky]

Two words:  "The Oscars"

Geesch!